Older and Better with Shelly

So my sweet nephew goes to college in New York. He’s taking some kind of class that requires animals. Don’t ask, too complicated for me. There were a few chickens in this class. Real, live chickens. One of the kids in the class asked to take one home. The kid takes it and, after a while, lets the chicken go in the middle of Manhattan. I wouldn’t want to be left alone in Manhattan, not for all the money in the world. But a poor defenseless chicken, really? Who does that? The next day my nephew sees the chicken in the rain in Manhattan. The chicken was lost and not a soul around wanted to help this poor defenseless creature. We always heard New Yorkers were selfish. I heard they have rats bigger than chickens in New York. He could be eaten by one of those monsters. So my sweet nephew decides he’s going to catch this chicken. While he’s chasing it the poor bird gets entangled in traffic and gets hit by a car. My nephew notices the chicken is sti...

New Yorkers just don’t get us. Hey New York if it makes it here it’ll make it anywhere. St. Louis is the city of discriminating taste. And proud of it. We don’t need the rest of the country to tell us how to eat our bagels. Like my mom used to say, it all goes down to the same place. Who cares what it looks like when you’re eating it? I can’t believe those snobby New Yorkers who get insulted because we have the nerve to like our bagels sliced like bread. Nobody’s holding a gun to their head. Oh wait let’s not say gun. How about a bagel slicer. At least New York knows where St. Louis is. We used to be flyover country. We may still be stuck in the middle but we’re having a good time, right here in the ‘Lou. If you’ve never been here you’re missing out, too bad! We actually have nice people in the Gateway City who are not quite so opinionated. Present company excluded. I guess New Yorkers like to wolf their bagels down and get fat. Their problem. T...