Older and Better with Shelly

  Milltown Mel died! Who is Milltown Mel? He is one of a few rare ground hogs given the honor of an important once a year job.   I guess he was protesting with the rest of Americans saying the pay was too low. One day before his performance.   A bit drastic. They even had to call off Groundhog Day in Milltown, New Jersey. Apparently there was no one in back up training.   All the climate change we’ve had recently was probably just too much stress for him. Maybe he wasn’t taking his vitamins. He probably didn’t like his food and, like I said, his pay was probably very meager.   How do you honor the famous dead groundhog?   A special service? Cremation or ground burial? How about a medal of valor from the President for years of service. I wonder if he had any children that could take over. I don’t even know if he was married. I couldn’t even tell you how groundhogs mate.   I don’t get into all that animal reproductive stuff.   I’m a city g...

  So sad that it took a worldwide pandemic where hundreds of thousands had to die. And while we were hunkering down at home... We learned we could persevere. We worked and took lessons from home. People cooked more but also ate more junk food. Banana cake was the salvation. We got to know our family much better. We learned to share, laugh and cry together. It was like it used to be in the old days. Folks actually learned to live without. Even go without toilet paper. We worried about our elderly family members making sure they were ok.  It was difficult to to keep up with their health though we still checked in on them often. We discovered this strange thing called zoom. We met friends and family for holidays and even special events on zoom. We had drive-by celebrations with decorated cars. A funny thing happened though while we were in pandemic mode. Animals that hadn’t been seen in years crawled out of the woodwork and multiplied. Bugs came back in droves. Pa...

This run on toilet paper is a real pain in the butt. Not too long we almost ran out of toilet paper. I was hysterical. As the only female in the house it was a definite necessity. I now have one of those large toilet paper holders in my bathroom. It can hold six double large rolls. No flimsy stuff allowed, you have to use half a roll at a seating if you know what I mean. My sensitive skin is another issue. I don’t want the stuff that feels like sandpaper. I guess I am a princess, a toilet paper princess if you will. Believe me I’ve been called worse. As Americans toilet paper is one of our most essential items besides heating and air conditioning. Oh, and I guess food. These idiots that are hoarding toilet paper have probably bought enough for their lifetime, and for everybody else in their neighborhood. What are they thinking? So while I’m writing this I guess we should just pass judgement whether the toilet paper should be over the top or under t...

The news is in. Our cockatiel Winston is a girl. But we hate the name “Winnie” and, since she has not objected, we’re still calling her Winston. Winston went in for a spa day. What is a spa day for a cockatiel? Let me tell you it’s getting her wings clipped so she doesn’t crash into mirrors, windows and walls, and break her neck. There are pros and cons about clipping the wings of birds. Nasty arguments. The same about getting your cats declawed. I don’t think a bird with clipped wings will have behavior problems like they say cats will. And if they do they will deal with it. It’s better than yours truly having a nervous breakdown over it. After watching Winston fly around the house, hitting everything in sight and then disappearing one evening, my old heart had it. She was at the top of our dining room buffet about 2 inches from the ceiling watching us run around the house calling for her. She went into house arrest immediately and was kept there until she had he...

Back in the day, fall meant a lot of things. Apple picking, cooler weather, hay rides and the premier showing of the new cars. New cars you ask? What’s the big deal about that? Well when I was a little kid growing up not everybody had a car. My mother was the first one in the family who got one. It was a ‘49 ford. Blue I think. She bought it so she could drive me to school and I didn’t have to walk so far. My parents were “ahead of the curve.” We were the first of our relatives to get a black-and-white TV. We were not wealthy by any means but my mom knew how to save and she believed in paying cash for everything. The family would gather at our house on Friday and Saturday nights to watch Lawrence Welk, the Texaco Star Theatre and Dinah Shore. I can hear it now,   “See the USA in your Chevrolet”, and Dinah would give us a big kiss. Dinah was considered a goody two shoes because she was so squeaky clean. Well she fell from grace a little later because she had a ...

So now they want to take away our straws. What’s a boomer to do? So many straw memories. So many straw-filled good times. Remember when drug stores actually had a small dining area? You could park yourself, and a few of your friends, at the counter. Then, for a few cents, order a cherry phosphate or milkshake. In those days no one skimped on the beverage sizes. The drinks were big. Too big to gulp down. So how did you drink them? Through a straw! Sometimes you split the drink with a friend, maybe even two. Then you probably used an extra straw, may be even more. Now I’m all for saving the planet. I think it’s great that we want to clean up the garbage in the ocean. And, I’m all for cleaning up the landfills. But think a minute, what actually takes up more room in a landfill… a straw, a drinking cup, diapers, paper towels, paper plates, or plastic utensils? Let’s not forget about all the soda bottles and soda cans, beer bottles and beer cans. The list...

I always knew that my generation was special. Even before the word “Boomer” was in my vocabulary. I remember seeing my little old grandmother, who probably wasn't that old but looked ancient to me, walking around in those old lady dresses. She also had those high top black lace shoes. I made up my mind right then and there that when I got old, I would walk barefooted before I wore those shoes. Funny how those born in the ‘40s and ‘50s all wanted to be a little bit different. Looking back, what really defined our generation was the music. It broke the mold of the old fashion ballads of yesteryear. With our music came dance and plenty of it. It seems like there was a new dance almost monthly. And new music to go with it. In my teen mind it was very important to keep up with the dance trends and learn how to do them all. Besides the Jitterbug, which was our staple, we had the Twist, the Stroll and many others. Life was so much simpler back then. On...

Well somewhere in the last election cycle, not mentioning any names, the term Fake News evolved. This is not a political column so I will not speak on that subject. There’s much to be said but I am refraining myself. So now when a newspaper or television station prints or says something not to the liking of a political candidate they call it “Fake News”. Fake News has been around for centuries. When I was at the supermarket last week waiting in the check-out line there were lots of different magazines on the rack. Side-by-side one magazine said that Brad and Angelina called off their divorce. The magazine next to it said Brad was engaged to someone else. Who reads this stuff and who believes it anyway? This is really Fake News.  I can see the children of today telling their folks when they get into trouble at school it's Fake News. I wonder if Fake News will be considered a form of defense in a court of law. I'll have to research that one and ge...

My friends have made fun of me for years about my soap opera addiction. I'm currently down to one. I never stay home to watch it, I tape it. What most people don't realize is that most of the popular network programs are various forms of soap operas… but they call them dramas. What is Downton Abby? It's a sophisticated English drama. It has all the good makings of a good soap opera. Downton is a great story with interesting characters, good drama, happy, sad and the all-important cliff hanger. A rose by any other name is still a rose. Downtown Abby took place almost 100 years ago and it shows the rich, and the not so rich, and their continuing drama. Mixing it in with all the British accents and the British wry humor makes it even better. Enter Netflix. Netflix has been my husband’s and my favorite TV savior for the past two or three years. Summer is a slow time for television unless you like reality shows, game shows, or oth...

I am calling for a text free weekend. No not a tax free weekend, like we have now, but going two days totally “text free”. Do you think we could survive a whole weekend without texting? My grandchildren would have to be admitted to the hospital for having a nervous breakdown. My son would be following right in their footsteps. So… walking down the street you could actually look at people as they walk by instead of bumping into them. Remember those days? Can you imagine going to a restaurant and seeing people actually talking?  Could they have a conversation for an hour without pulling out their phone? Heaven forbid. Some of the biggest text abuse occurs while waiting in line to give your order at a coffee shop. Ever have to wait for somebody in front of you to finish their texting so they can give the waitress their order? Many slow down the check out in the grocery line by finishing their texting before they place their goods on the conve...