The Final Straw

So now they want to take away our straws. What’s a boomer to do?

So many straw memories. So many straw-filled good times.

Remember when drug stores actually had a small dining area? You could park yourself, and a few of your friends, at the counter. Then, for a few cents, order a cherry phosphate or milkshake.

In those days no one skimped on the beverage sizes. The drinks were big. Too big to gulp down. So how did you drink them? Through a straw! Sometimes you split the drink with a friend, maybe even two. Then you probably used an extra straw, may be even more.

Now I’m all for saving the planet. I think it’s great that we want to clean up the garbage in the ocean.

And, I’m all for cleaning up the landfills. But think a minute, what actually takes up more room in a landfill… a straw, a drinking cup, diapers, paper towels, paper plates, or plastic utensils?

Let’s not forget about all the soda bottles and soda cans, beer bottles and beer cans. The list goes on and on.

Speaking of soda or as some would call it “pop”, I remember as a kid collecting soda bottles to get the five cent rebate at the grocery store. Can you imagine a kid today picking up a soda bottle to get a nickel?

My grandson wouldn’t do that to get a dollar. We’re raising lazy kids now. We need to collect them all...beer bottles, soda bottles, whatever. That alone would save the landfills a lot more garbage than taking away straws.

The move to take away straws is a minor blip to satisfy all the people that are complaining about cleaning up the planet.

That’s like dropping one sand bag on the ocean to prevent flooding. Give me a break!

I am as guilty as the next person. Don’t use diapers anymore, not yet anyway. Back in the day when I was raising my boys they didn’t even have paper diapers.

The young people of today don’t even know what hard work is. Did you ever try to clean up a poopy diaper in the toilet before you could put it in the laundry? And if you have a sensitive smelling nose, like I did, you didn’t have enough hands.

You needed one hand to hold your nose, one to dunk the diaper, and then both hands to ring it out. Occasionally babies had what I called down the “leg poop”. You can use your imagination on that. On more than one occasion that diaper got wrapped in a paper bag and pitched.

The diapers then had to be thrown into the washing machine with special soap so the infant wouldn’t get diaper rash, which they often got anyway. Diaper rash is the worst thing that a poor baby can get. It’s painful and disgusting for them. We had to put this white smelly stuff on our hands and then put it on their bottom. And this white fix smelly stuff took forever to get off your hands. I shudder just thinking about that.

In the nicer weather people liked to hang their diapers up on the clothesline because they smelled fresh after that. Young people today don’t even know what a clothesline is. They have it made.

I can see landfills today filled sky high with diapers, disposable diapers.

Before all you people come at me I’m trying to make a point.

How are we ever going to drink wonderful coffees, milkshakes and ice cream sodas without a straw?

And people that are confined to bed in the hospital or home, how are they ever going to be able to drink anything without a straw?

I know some of the grocery stores like Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods encourage you to bring your own bags. That’s a great idea. I’m sure there’s millions of plastic bags in landfills. Then somebody wrote a story about how germs can get in your reusable bags. Give me a break germs can get anywhere. A little germ can be healthy anyway. When I’m at Trader Joe’s I love looking at the reusable bags that people bring in. Sometimes you can see where they’ve traveled or where else they shop.

Next time we’ll talk about T-shirts with travel destinations on them. Or your favorite band.

Speaking of bands I’ve got to run. Beach Boys are coming on. Later.