Older and Better with Shelly

  Don’t get caught with your pants down.  Its not often you see a full moon in the daytime but that is exactly what just happened here.   I really didn’t think that there were a lot of nudist colonies out there.  I thought it was just in the movies.   So this man was in a nudist colony in Berlin at what has now been renamed Swine Lake.   It’s  where he encountered a wild boar who took off with his bag containing his computer and other valuables.  Her two piglets went with her. They feasted on a pizza in the bag (hope it was not a bacon pizza ewww)  and were looking for dessert I think.   I didn’t  know Germans liked nudist colonies.   He was sunbathing in the nude which is called free body culture.   I didn’t know Germany had wild boars either. Boars have been seen in the countryside and subdivisions along the outskirts of Berlin. They have actually become increasingly more common.   So the guy...

So my sweet nephew goes to college in New York. He’s taking some kind of class that requires animals. Don’t ask, too complicated for me. There were a few chickens in this class. Real, live chickens. One of the kids in the class asked to take one home. The kid takes it and, after a while, lets the chicken go in the middle of Manhattan. I wouldn’t want to be left alone in Manhattan, not for all the money in the world. But a poor defenseless chicken, really? Who does that? The next day my nephew sees the chicken in the rain in Manhattan. The chicken was lost and not a soul around wanted to help this poor defenseless creature. We always heard New Yorkers were selfish. I heard they have rats bigger than chickens in New York. He could be eaten by one of those monsters. So my sweet nephew decides he’s going to catch this chicken. While he’s chasing it the poor bird gets entangled in traffic and gets hit by a car. My nephew notices the chicken is sti...

It brings tears to my eyes. The sad Passover story? No. It’s that horseradish I am allergic to. When I was an eight-year-old kid my father, who was the sweetest human being on the earth, said you want to find out what horseradish smells like?   Being a gutsy kid I never backed away from anything. I don’t know what he was thinking but he liked stuff like that and I took a whiff.   It brought tears to my eyes and I’ve been crying ever since. My dad, who lived to only 82, even ate a raw onion the week he died. Turns out I am allergic to raw onions too. Speaking of crying, how about preparing a dinner for 15 to 18 people at my age? Now that’s enough to for an extra-large bucket of tears. A dinner this size requires a ton of plates. One for the fish, which you would not want to serve with anything else. Another one for the Seder plate, which has the nut, apple thing, and Passover wine mixture. A third for the soup, which I am proud to say is made by my s...