Older and Better with Shelly

The worst thing happened to me today. The absolute worst. I was demoted to a “green” status by Starbucks. They’re right on the corner by our house and I do frequent them. But I didn’t get 300 stars this year so I’m demoted. How dare they do that to me? I bought their stock back in the day before people even knew who they were. The new Starbucks on the corner, about a half-a-mile-away, must’ve been designed by someone who flunked out of architectural school. You have to drive into and out of the adjacent shopping center parking lot, turn to get back to the main busy street, then turn back into the Starbuck’s designated area lot to wait in line. Then to leave you have to do it all in reverse.  So much traffic you can nearly lose your life just to get your damn coffee. Did I give up, no! I continued to go to that navigationally challenged Starbucks. I’m not a quitter. I never give up. I’m up to the challenge. Almost avoiding death on more than one occasion just to...

Have you noticed that the world has become a big drive-thru? They took away the best part of summer the DRIVE-IN. There you could eat, talk and have no one tell you to shush. And you did not have to pay $8.00 for a bag of popcorn. And $5.00 or more for a soda. There should be a law against that. At the drive-in you could slouch, sleep, and take the kids, for free. So meanwhile you can drive through the bank, McDonald's, and Starbucks.  I think in California they even have drive-thru church services. Maybe have drive-thru funerals. How do you get a body through the window? Who dresses it? Ugh, let's change the subject. So at these drive-thru places you are at the mercy of the order taker. How many times have you gotten the wrong stuff? It's hard to check the bag when there are people honking behind you. And what if you cannot find your credit card or the right bills? People behind you have killed for less. How about the stores that make...