Manhattan Chicken Caper

So my sweet nephew goes to college in New York.
He’s taking some kind of class that requires animals. Don’t ask, too complicated for me.
There were a few chickens in this class. Real, live chickens. One of the kids in the class asked to take one home.
The kid takes it and, after a while, lets the chicken go in the middle of Manhattan. I wouldn’t want to be left alone in Manhattan, not for all the money in the world. But a poor defenseless chicken, really? Who does that?
The next day my nephew sees the chicken in the rain in Manhattan. The chicken was lost and not a soul around wanted to help this poor defenseless creature. We always heard New Yorkers were selfish.
I heard they have rats bigger than chickens in New York. He could be eaten by one of those monsters.
So my sweet nephew decides he’s going to catch this chicken. While he’s chasing it the poor bird gets entangled in traffic and gets hit by a car.
My nephew notices the chicken is still alive. He grabs it and takes it back t…

Dead Butt Syndrome

I read a lot. I am a valuable source of useless information.
It’s a dirty job but somebody has to do it.
Well I noticed an article I just read about dead butt syndrome.
That’s a new one for me. Apparently it’s a real thing and hundreds of Americans suffer from it.
It comes from sitting on your butt all the time.
I wish I knew about this when I was raising my kids. That may have scared them more than telling them if they don’t eat their vegetables they will get into trouble because there are kids starving in China.
If I could have told my kids... If you don't get off your butt and do something your butt could be frozen! Now that could scare a kid. It even scares me.
What about all these kids who incessantly play games on their phone. I’ve heard of kids going to parties and sitting next to each other all while still transfixed on their phones. We’re raising a generation of kids that do not know how to engage in conversation with each other.
They need to develop some treadmills for…

Passing Thoughts on Passover

It brings tears to my eyes. The sad Passover story? No. It’s that horseradish I am allergic to.
When I was an eight-year-old kid my father, who was the sweetest human being on the earth, said you want to find out what horseradish smells like? Being a gutsy kid I never backed away from anything. I don’t know what he was thinking but he liked stuff like that and I took a whiff.It brought tears to my eyes and I’ve been crying ever since.
My dad, who lived to only 82, even ate a raw onion the week he died. Turns out I am allergic to raw onions too.
Speaking of crying, how about preparing a dinner for 15 to 18 people at my age? Now that’s enough to for an extra-large bucket of tears.
A dinner this size requires a ton of plates. One for the fish, which you would not want to serve with anything else. Another one for the Seder plate, which has the nut, apple thing, and Passover wine mixture. A third for the soup, which I am proud to say is made by my son. It has won awards and it’s really good. …

How Much Is That Birdie In The Window?

So our beloved cockatiel died a few months ago at age 26.
In the words of my son, our bird had a good West County life.
However, my husband began missing his little friend. He was the only one in the house that actually listened to him and talked back.
We have three cats so we really weren’t planning on acquiring another two-winged friend. But the house was so quiet. We missed his chirping.
Our bird was always happy to see us. He loved it when we came home from shopping or dinner with friends. He could hear us pulling into the driveway and would start chirping before we even got our car into the garage.
Unlike our kids, he always was welcoming to his parents. We enjoyed him so much that we decided to get another one, a cockatiel. So we decided to visit a pet shop.
A friend had given us our first bird, so going through a pet store would be a whole new experience.
After doing some research we found a shop that sold all sorts of birds. They got them from breeders.
We went to take a lo…

Bagelgate Schmielgate

New Yorkers just don’t get us.
Hey New York if it makes it here it’ll make it anywhere. St. Louis is the city of discriminating taste. And proud of it.
We don’t need the rest of the country to tell us how to eat our bagels. Like my mom used to say, it all goes down to the same place. Who cares what it looks like when you’re eating it?
I can’t believe those snobby New Yorkers who get insulted because we have the nerve to like our bagels sliced like bread. Nobody’s holding a gun to their head. Oh wait let’s not say gun. How about a bagel slicer.
At least New York knows where St. Louis is. We used to be flyover country. We may still be stuck in the middle but we’re having a good time, right here in the ‘Lou. If you’ve never been here you’re missing out, too bad!
We actually have nice people in the Gateway City who are not quite so opinionated. Present company excluded.
I guess New Yorkers like to wolf their bagels down and get fat. Their problem. They’re not smart enough to know when yo…

Spanx, No Thanks!

I thought by the time women started designing fashions for other women the cruelty would be gone.
When they first came out I realized pantyhose had to be designed by a man. I was so thrilled when people stopped wearing those disgusting things.
I never could get a pair of pantyhose to fit my long legs. If they were long enough they were baggy. If you were lucky enough to get a pair that actually fit they would get a run the first time you would wear them. I would rather freeze to death in a pair of heels then wear those things. Enough said about that.
I won’t talk about bygone days. Remember when those poor women had to wear the lace up girdles? In the movies they show their servants pulling them so tight the woman would lose about 4 inches or more in their waist. Studies show that those women suffered from lots of internal issues later in life.
I had worn little panty girdles back in the day to hold my then thin tummy in. That seemed to work well.
Then along came Spanx. Hailed by Opr…

Nightmare In The ER

Have you noticed how much the medical field has changed in the last 50 years?
I know all the surgical techniques and cancer treatments have improved, but the quality of our care? Not so much.
Do you know a doctor that makes house calls? When my kids were little we only had one car. My husband took our car out of town on a business trip and one of our kids got sick.
Our pediatrician said “no problem I’ll just swing by on my way home from work”. Do you know a pediatrician today that’s going to swing by on his way home from work to see you?
Even in an emergency, care isn’t what it once was. You’re lucky if you can get a doctor to see you at all. And that’s after you call and punch 1000 buttons. You may be dead before you get a live person.
Like having your calls screened, now every doctor has to run you through a process before you get an office visit. You damn well better have a serious illness for the doctor to see you the same day you call.
Oh go to the ER you say? The only way you c…