The New Buzz Around Town
There’s a new buzz around town and it’s not involving crime,
baseball or politics.
They’re called cicadas. They arrive every 17 years. I’m of
that age that this will probably be my last visit with them.
Cicadas are everywhere and people are constantly talking
about them. You can hear them, you can see them, and if they land on you, they’ll
make this irritating popping sound.
I don’t like them. They’re disgusting.
My husband knows when he buys my coffin that it has to be
cicada proof. I will never lie in peace if I know my body is crept on by those
things.
Since they’ve arrived, I have not been outside much. I prefer
to jump straight into my car in the garage, open the door and take off.
I made the mistake of going out to the garden the other day.
One of those irritants had the nerve to jump onto my clean hair.
When I flipped it off it made that awful pop noise. My head
hasn’t stopped itching since and it was salon clean hair.
I told my husband Steve that I think they laid eggs on my
head. I may have 1,000 of them soon.
It’s bad enough St. Louis doesn’t have an ocean but when we
have to contend with these creatures well it ruins my spring. This is my favorite
time of the year, enjoying the nice daytime weather before it gets St. Louis
hot. So now I’m at a personal boiling point well ahead of the forecast.
I’m no killer but when one gets on my windshield I’ll have a
new sense of power. I will take care of them and any of their unlucky friends
who dare to test me.
If I see one on the ground I will step on it.
Should everyone take this kind of action we would be done
with them by now. I’m sure of that.
People tell me don’t worry they’re harmless. Well they can
have them, all of them.
To add insult to injury, I read the Butterfly House is
having an event where you can watch them cook with cicadas and then you can eat
them!
I don’t want to nosh on creepy, crawly things. Not frogs,
beetles, spiders, grasshoppers, worms or whatever they try to shock you into
eating.
We watched the TV show Survivor for many years. It convinced
me I would never eat any type of crawler no matter how much money I could win.
Some say the taste of a turtle is similar to chili. We’ll I
like turkey chili. That’s enough for me. Leave those turtles alone.
Maybe we can train all the other creepers to kill the
cicadas. Now that would be must see viewing.
My condolences on their arrival, noise and behavior. They too will pass. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOver the weekend, one had the nerve to land in my eyeball in public at a restaurant. I’m sure you could hear me scream from there
DeleteLove your take on those creatures. I feel the same but you have to find the humor in it all.
ReplyDeleteThey dont bother me very much except when they mistake me for a tree trunk or limb. I’ve had them land on my head, my back and my ear, of all places, but because my daughter and two granddaughters are grossed out and afraid of the Cicadas, I sweep the front porch each morning and afternoon and the sidewalk in front of the porch as well as the public sidewalk. Like you dear friend, my daughter enters and exits her car in the garage and no one but me sits under the pergola. We are waiting for the guests to finally be gone so work can begin on the patio. I hope it’s soon!
ReplyDeleteVery cute and funny story and true!!
ReplyDelete