Older and Better with Shelly

So you kids think this Coronavirus is the “Boomer Remover”? This is not a joke. Listen you little snotty nose rug rats. Who do you think wiped your butt when you pooped in your pants and your parents were busy? Who gave you money every time you were short or even when you weren’t just because we loved you? Who gave you money for your first car, your first bike, your first anything? We didn’t have any of those things. We wouldn’t even think about asking for those things when we were kids. Think about all the money we’ve given you towards those ridiculous video games that you keep buying like their popcorn. We spend good money on them and you discard or lose them within days or weeks. So little "poopers" did you get the message yet? The boomers are not going anywhere. We taught your parents most everything they know and gave them the opportunity for a good education so they could raise you little killjoys. You blame us for the environme

I remember when I was a kid the telephone was scarcely used. It was meant for emergency situations. It was a treat if you even could afford one. My parents had what was called a four party line and entertainment for me was listening in on other peoples’ conversations. Of course I was too young to know what they were talking about at the time but just knowing I was doing something naughty was thrilling. I remember when my aunts would travel they would want to let my mom know that they got to their destination without an issue.   However, to make a long distance call was extremely expensive. So they would make a collect call through the operator and ask for the dog’s name or kid’s name, and then my mom would say they’re not home. That was the signal to let my mom know they had safely arrived at their destination. As people become wealthier they were actually able to have their own phone with their own line. My parents had a phone in the kitchen with only a 12 in

Since most of the people that read my blog are known by the dreaded word “boomers” I thought I would get the word out to speak for us. I always thought baby boomers were special. We were going to change the world. And we did for the better. Our music was the best, our clothing was great. We knew how to have fun. We were never going to get old. For a long time I said boomers rule. Well the unbelievable thing happened, we actually somehow got old. I never use that word “old”. In fact, for over 20 years the AARP has been trying to get me to join but I won’t. Why would I want to admit to being old. Old is a state of mind if you ask me. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want to, within reason as you age. So a few weeks ago I read about a phrase called OK Boomer and it was derogatory. Well that got my boomer rage up. So of course I googled it. Isn’t that what you do every day about something you don’t know? Well I got more pissed as I read it. It seems the kids of t

OK I wanted to do this for a long time. But I don’t want to ignite a riot over one of my blogs. But I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Don’t want to offend anybody but here I go… For years people have debated who are smarter cats or dogs? Of course whatever animal you have, you think he or she is the more brilliant one. I’ve had cats for 50+ years and I can tell you, they’re smarter. They’re smarter than a fifth grader, they’re smarter than humans, they are smarter than anybody. Who else do you know who can lounge around, sleep most of the day, and not get a heart condition, diabetes or just fat? Who do you know that can throw up at will and have somebody clean up after them? Who do you know that is allowed to share your bed with you, and even sleep on your head? Who do you know that can convince you with two soulful eyes to share your dinner with them, after they’ve had their own. Who do you know that when they cry like a baby they get immediate at

So now they want to take away our straws. What’s a boomer to do? So many straw memories. So many straw-filled good times. Remember when drug stores actually had a small dining area? You could park yourself, and a few of your friends, at the counter. Then, for a few cents, order a cherry phosphate or milkshake. In those days no one skimped on the beverage sizes. The drinks were big. Too big to gulp down. So how did you drink them? Through a straw! Sometimes you split the drink with a friend, maybe even two. Then you probably used an extra straw, may be even more. Now I’m all for saving the planet. I think it’s great that we want to clean up the garbage in the ocean. And, I’m all for cleaning up the landfills. But think a minute, what actually takes up more room in a landfill… a straw, a drinking cup, diapers, paper towels, paper plates, or plastic utensils? Let’s not forget about all the soda bottles and soda cans, beer bottles and beer cans. The list

Are stupid things that were done years ago making a comeback? After all, stupidity never goes out of style. Case in point, China. I realize the Chinese are short on space. They have to crowd things together to make room for everything and everyone. I just saw a photo of a train going through an apartment building. Why, to save space or people’s sanity? So… if you need to hop on a train you can just walk out your apartment door? Reminds me of what comes first, the chicken or the egg. Oops, the apartment or the train? After all, how much sleep can you get with a train going through your apartment building? I’d like to meet with the engineer or architect that designed that one. He probably lives in the woods somewhere surrounded by trees. When I was very young my parents, my brother, my aunt and uncle, and I squeezed into a four passenger sedan to drive to Florida. Now can you imagine six people in a four passenger sedan? Of course, in those days, they

Based on current events, this is more a commentary than a comedy… Is it me or are people just getting more critical? Has this wonderful thing that we have called the Internet enabled people to complain about anything and everything? I saw nastiness in people during this last election that rocked to me to the core. I think people should be able to voice their opinion without others getting nasty and hostile. I was shocked at the names people called each other. Where did this anger come from? Has it always been in society? Or, are we so frustrated with the fast-paced, competitive society will we live in that the tension and pressure have has caused us to be that way. Perhaps it is because people can't see us, so we don't know who’s saying what. It’s easy to make a damning remark and move on without any repercussions. Now I can curse with the best of them but going online and using words that I've never heard before, against people that I

I always knew that my generation was special. Even before the word “Boomer” was in my vocabulary. I remember seeing my little old grandmother, who probably wasn't that old but looked ancient to me, walking around in those old lady dresses. She also had those high top black lace shoes. I made up my mind right then and there that when I got old, I would walk barefooted before I wore those shoes. Funny how those born in the ‘40s and ‘50s all wanted to be a little bit different. Looking back, what really defined our generation was the music. It broke the mold of the old fashion ballads of yesteryear. With our music came dance and plenty of it. It seems like there was a new dance almost monthly. And new music to go with it. In my teen mind it was very important to keep up with the dance trends and learn how to do them all. Besides the Jitterbug, which was our staple, we had the Twist, the Stroll and many others. Life was so much simpler back then. On

Where did you go to high school? I did not realize that question was a coined phrase seemingly originating and owned by St. Louisans. Growing up we all pretty much stayed in our neighborhoods, shopped in our neighborhoods and had friends in our neighborhood. Transportation wasn't easy back then and not everyone had a car. You wanted to live in the area where both your family and your school were close by. Back in the day St. Louis had its own geographic divisions separated by wealth and religion. Certain religions, and certain races, were not allowed to live in some areas. Was it fair, no, could we do anything about it at the time, not much. The area was separated by those that went to private school, the very wealthy, or were Catholic. That was that. So when you met somebody from St. Louis and you asked where they went to high school that immediately told you the financial status of their family and maybe their religion. I never looked on

I am calling for a text free weekend. No not a tax free weekend, like we have now, but going two days totally “text free”. Do you think we could survive a whole weekend without texting? My grandchildren would have to be admitted to the hospital for having a nervous breakdown. My son would be following right in their footsteps. So… walking down the street you could actually look at people as they walk by instead of bumping into them. Remember those days? Can you imagine going to a restaurant and seeing people actually talking?  Could they have a conversation for an hour without pulling out their phone? Heaven forbid. Some of the biggest text abuse occurs while waiting in line to give your order at a coffee shop. Ever have to wait for somebody in front of you to finish their texting so they can give the waitress their order? Many slow down the check out in the grocery line by finishing their texting before they place their goods on the conveyor