The Toilet Paper Princess

This run on toilet paper is a real pain in the butt.

Not too long we almost ran out of toilet paper. I was hysterical. As the only female in the house it was a definite necessity.

I now have one of those large toilet paper holders in my bathroom. It can hold six double large rolls. No flimsy stuff allowed, you have to use half a roll at a seating if you know what I mean.

My sensitive skin is another issue. I don’t want the stuff that feels like sandpaper. I guess I am a princess, a toilet paper princess if you will. Believe me I’ve been called worse.

As Americans toilet paper is one of our most essential items besides heating and air conditioning. Oh, and I guess food.

These idiots that are hoarding toilet paper have probably bought enough for their lifetime, and for everybody else in their neighborhood. What are they thinking?

So while I’m writing this I guess we should just pass judgement whether the toilet paper should be over the top or under the top. I can’t imagine why anybody would want the toilet paper to be under the top. Can you? It’s hard enough to get that stuff to tear.

Placement is another issue in your bathroom. In some cases the role is placed on the side of the toilet but so far away you have to fall off the stool just to reach it.  In others it’s placed right across from the toilet and if you have short arms that’s another problem. Putting it under is not an option at my house.

Somebody needs to develop a way to attach toilet paper to the toilet. Don’t ask me how, I’m not an engineer.

It’s bad enough when you go somewhere and they have that cheap toilet paper that you pull and, if you’re lucky, get two little squares. Really that’s my number one pet peeve with bathrooms outside the home. The other is when you have to pee so bad you sit down on the toilet and then realize there’s no toilet paper left.

I try always to have tissues in my purse. Unfortunately I change purses so much I’m lucky if I remember my money, my glasses, my phone and my keys.

If you have a cat it too can become a toilet paper disaster. If they get hold of your roll watch out.  Then if it gets wet that becomes a further nightmare.

On the bright side, I guess kids won’t be T-peeing houses anymore. I think one of my sons had our house T-peed when he was a teen. Now that’s a story he could tell his kids but probably won’t. They wouldn’t believe him anyway.

Nothing compares to waking up in the morning and finding all your trees with toilet paper on them. It’s practically impossible to get it off and then if it rains it’ll stay there for years. It makes it look like it snowed overnight.

Since the run on toilet paper began you can tell who your real friends are. I’ve had several tell me they have rolls in their pantry with my name on it, should I need it.

And my adopted daughter told me that she’ll let me know when her husband’s business gets it in so Steve can do a run for toilet paper. Now that’s a real friend.

Hopefully we can wipe out the toilet paper crisis.

Over and T- Peed out till next time.

Next topic high and low toilets.