Older and Better with Shelly

OK I wanted to do this for a long time. But I don’t want to ignite a riot over one of my blogs. But I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Don’t want to offend anybody but here I go… For years people have debated who are smarter cats or dogs? Of course whatever animal you have, you think he or she is the more brilliant one. I’ve had cats for 50+ years and I can tell you, they’re smarter. They’re smarter than a fifth grader, they’re smarter than humans, they are smarter than anybody. Who else do you know who can lounge around, sleep most of the day, and not get a heart condition, diabetes or just fat? Who do you know that can throw up at will and have somebody clean up after them? Who do you know that is allowed to share your bed with you, and even sleep on your head? Who do you know that can convince you with two soulful eyes to share your dinner with them, after they’ve had their own. Who do you know that when they cry like a baby they get immediate at...

Now before people come to my home and threaten me, or worse burn it down, I want a disclaimer here. I believe everyone has a right to their own beliefs. Religion, sexual preference, to eat meat or not to eat meat. It’s nobody but nobody’s business unless somebody is getting hurt. I love animals. It makes me crazy to think of how many animals are euthanized every year because people don’t get their animals spayed or neutered. I hate to hear people talk about the deer overpopulation. When I see news about people going big game hunting I always pray for them to get eaten by whatever they’re going after. So now I’m going to state my case. PETA wants a monument erected for a lot of lobsters killed in a truck accident. I had to read this three times because I thought for sure it was a joke. Now I have to say I could never take a lobster and throw it in a pot of boiling water. I’ve heard people say what happens and it’s an ugly thing. That being said, if this...

So now they want to take away our straws. What’s a boomer to do? So many straw memories. So many straw-filled good times. Remember when drug stores actually had a small dining area? You could park yourself, and a few of your friends, at the counter. Then, for a few cents, order a cherry phosphate or milkshake. In those days no one skimped on the beverage sizes. The drinks were big. Too big to gulp down. So how did you drink them? Through a straw! Sometimes you split the drink with a friend, maybe even two. Then you probably used an extra straw, may be even more. Now I’m all for saving the planet. I think it’s great that we want to clean up the garbage in the ocean. And, I’m all for cleaning up the landfills. But think a minute, what actually takes up more room in a landfill… a straw, a drinking cup, diapers, paper towels, paper plates, or plastic utensils? Let’s not forget about all the soda bottles and soda cans, beer bottles and beer cans. The list...

The worst thing happened to me today. The absolute worst. I was demoted to a “green” status by Starbucks. They’re right on the corner by our house and I do frequent them. But I didn’t get 300 stars this year so I’m demoted. How dare they do that to me? I bought their stock back in the day before people even knew who they were. The new Starbucks on the corner, about a half-a-mile-away, must’ve been designed by someone who flunked out of architectural school. You have to drive into and out of the adjacent shopping center parking lot, turn to get back to the main busy street, then turn back into the Starbuck’s designated area lot to wait in line. Then to leave you have to do it all in reverse.  So much traffic you can nearly lose your life just to get your damn coffee. Did I give up, no! I continued to go to that navigationally challenged Starbucks. I’m not a quitter. I never give up. I’m up to the challenge. Almost avoiding death on more than one occasion just to...

Are stupid things that were done years ago making a comeback? After all, stupidity never goes out of style. Case in point, China. I realize the Chinese are short on space. They have to crowd things together to make room for everything and everyone. I just saw a photo of a train going through an apartment building. Why, to save space or people’s sanity? So… if you need to hop on a train you can just walk out your apartment door? Reminds me of what comes first, the chicken or the egg. Oops, the apartment or the train? After all, how much sleep can you get with a train going through your apartment building? I’d like to meet with the engineer or architect that designed that one. He probably lives in the woods somewhere surrounded by trees. When I was very young my parents, my brother, my aunt and uncle, and I squeezed into a four passenger sedan to drive to Florida. Now can you imagine six people in a four passenger sedan? Of course, in those days, they ...

Judy bites bird! You’ve heard the old journalist’s story that when a dog bites a man it’s not news, but when a man bites a dog…well you have a story. My friend Judy has some pesky robins flying around her house. They are trying to build a nest inside the siding. She wants no part of it and does everything to the birds but bite them. In fact, she’s has a war raging with the robins when they come back to roost. This goes on every spring. For whatever reason, they love the outside of her home. You can count on it, as the first sign of spring, the robins start circling her house looking for a place to build their hood. They are very creative and never build it in the same spot. Of course she won’t let them. They have found spots she didn’t even know existed. Animals, and I guess birds, have a sense of who does not like them. And they gravitate to those people. We have had several cat haters come to our house. Well, those are the people the cats run up to. My m...

Some kitchen appliance expert made a big mistake when they decided stainless steel was going to be the wave of the future. Sure it looks beautiful, shiny, and very impressive. But you cannot put magnets on a stainless steel refrigerator. What's with that? I have all stainless steel appliances but not a stainless steel refrigerator, at least not yet. My whole life is on the refrigerator. Sure my iPhone has a lot but my refrigerator has more. All of my doctor cards, class schedules, doctors’ appointments, and, don't forget the most important thing of all, recent pictures of the grandkids are all there. Probably the most important business card of all, our handyman, is there too. We would be lost without him. Funny but we don't want to share our favorite handyman with just anybody. People are more guarded about giving out their handyman’s phone number than their beauticians and cleaning people if they have them. Nothing worse than needing your...