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Rite of Passage

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  I used to notice spots on my mom’s and aunt’s clothes. I couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t be more careful. Who wants spots on their clothes? Years later, I’m that person. I like to wear white t-shirts because they’re pale and not hot. And comfortable. Though drinking coffee in the morning with a white t-shirt is impossible. I keep kitchen towels around my neck and spill the coffee on my shirt anyway. What’s that about? When we go out to dinner with friends, I always take the big napkins with the nice material and put them under my chin like you would with a child. Somehow my clothes get spotted anyway. My friend told me to get to get the white Clorox sticks. They just don’t work. So now I often just wear black. But how boring is black? Imagine me with black on all the time. Black pants are fine, but the top has to been loud and cheerful if not white. Today when I buy clothes, I get them really loud. If I spot on it well it fits in. I decided years ago when my gra
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A Bedtime Story

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  When you’re a kid, a bed is something you don’t want to be in. Except to sleep late on weekends. As you get older your bed becomes more of a friend. Sometimes better than your real friends. Recently we got a new mattress. The salespeople talked us in to purchasing one that does everything but take out the trash. It came with an electronic base and a remote that helped raise and lower it.   Plus, lots of other features. What they didn’t tell us was the noise it would make during the middle of the night or a light that would come on underneath and wouldn’t turn off. And that was just the beginning. Its favorite trick was to turn on a vibrating massage motor that we couldn’t get off. Who in the hell wants a vibrator when you’re trying to sleep, don’t get nasty now. The other issue was the mattress itself. It sat high. Real high. I could not get in or out of it without the help of a stool. It forced me to sleep on the end so I could find my way down. I did try to maneuver t
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The New Buzz Around Town

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  There’s a new buzz around town and it’s not involving crime, baseball or politics. They’re called cicadas. They arrive every 17 years. I’m of that age that this will probably be my last visit with them. Cicadas are everywhere and people are constantly talking about them. You can hear them, you can see them, and if they land on you, they’ll make this irritating popping sound. I don’t like them. They’re disgusting. My husband knows when he buys my coffin that it has to be cicada proof. I will never lie in peace if I know my body is crept on by those things. Since they’ve arrived, I have not been outside much. I prefer to jump straight into my car in the garage, open the door and take off. I made the mistake of going out to the garden the other day. One of those irritants had the nerve to jump onto my clean hair. When I flipped it off it made that awful pop noise. My head hasn’t stopped itching since and it was salon clean hair. I told my husband Steve that I think they
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Holiday Thoughts

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  When I was a kid in the dark ages, I thought Jews were the only ones that did not celebrate Christmas. My parents and my friends would say you celebrate Hanukkah and get a gift eight nights. I don’t know anybody that got a gift all eight nights. If I was lucky, I got a gift one night and it was usually like pajamas. I would always look at beautiful Christmas decorations. We of course had none, just a menorah. That didn’t come close to Christmas decorations. If I could wear a Christmas tree lit around my neck I would. I think it was because I was deprived as a child but don’t quote me. So I was a stubborn little kitten. I decided to hang a stocking over the fake fireplace we had in our apartment. Don’t ask me how I got that stocking I didn’t get an allowance. I probably stole it. So I made sure to tell my parents that I was hanging a stocking. I didn’t care if we were Jewish or not. Well, I got a lecture from my Mom but since daddy was my Dad, he did not say a word and I hung my
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Hey Gen Z, What Up?

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  So I read Generation Z doesn’t believe in emails and doesn’t open them. My kids’ generation was Gen X. They told me many years ago that if I wanted to hear from them I would have to email them. I had no idea what that was but I figured it out because I had a computer. I can’t figure out when kids started giving their parents rules. If I told my Mom that, I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week, maybe a month. Then from email it changed to text. Something else to have to learn but I did it. But let’s talk about the people of today. They don’t care about anything. Try to get an answer from anyone about anything. “It was my day off.” “Not my area of expertise.”   “I’m off in 10 minutes.” The last time I was in the hospital I did not get a scheduled meal.   My husband brought it in. One nurse said her shift was over, the next person will feed you. Well it was right then and there that I was checked out and went home. Whoever heard of that junk? Did you ever try to get a m
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This Groundhog Didn't Get His Day

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  Milltown Mel died! Who is Milltown Mel? He is one of a few rare ground hogs given the honor of an important once a year job.   I guess he was protesting with the rest of Americans saying the pay was too low. One day before his performance.   A bit drastic. They even had to call off Groundhog Day in Milltown, New Jersey. Apparently there was no one in back up training.   All the climate change we’ve had recently was probably just too much stress for him. Maybe he wasn’t taking his vitamins. He probably didn’t like his food and, like I said, his pay was probably very meager.   How do you honor the famous dead groundhog?   A special service? Cremation or ground burial? How about a medal of valor from the President for years of service. I wonder if he had any children that could take over. I don’t even know if he was married. I couldn’t even tell you how groundhogs mate.   I don’t get into all that animal reproductive stuff.   I’m a city girl and really don’t care.   On a bri
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Goat Meal

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Unless you live in a cave or under a rock (in this time of Covid it may be a good idea) you have been hearing or seeing about lots of brush fires in different parts of the country and the world.   Countries are desperate about finding ways to prevent these blazing fires starting from dried brush. The lack of rain has caused the situation to worsen. The recent fires in Colorado are a devastating example Some places have tried to control the burning of loose vegetation to get rid of the fire-causing dry brush.   That can be very dangerous. And in some of the places the brush is too far out of the realm to get anyone close enough to do something about it.   The country of Australia is experimenting with goats to lower wild fire risk. Yes cute little Bambis!! Well it seems that goats will eat anything growing on the ground or in trees that they can reach. They are not picky about their vegetation.   Goats eat and eat. They’re always hungry and eat just about anything grown. They
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